Random Humor
This random humor page is dedicated to those
things that I find humorous.
By Dingy Davits, humorist  
South Texas Sailing
Nov. 20, 2013 Why Do Many Students
Feel Depressed About Math?
You'd be
depressed, too, if you were around so many
negative numbers.

Nov. 9, 2013 Sailors Are More
Perceptive About Wind Direction
I was
on a chase boat for a regatta, today. I was
with 3 other men, all of whom are power
boaters. The PRO asked us to set the
leeward mark about 30 yards windward of
the start line. I immediately started to
prepare the weights and anchor line for the
mark while the boat was moving into
position. After completion of my
preparations, I looked up and noticed the
driver had moved us 30 yards leeward of the
start line.. Oops.

Apr. 26, 2013 Adventures of Capt. Lowsa
- Should have measured first.
Where
there's a will, theres a won't. My good friend
Capt. Lowsa was having outboard motor
problems so he enlisted the help of a friend
to switch out motors on the back of his boat.
First they took off the disabled motor, and
then put on a spare motor. They used the
new motor lift on the club dock. They were
really proud of how easy it was and were
really pleased with themselves. There was
just one itty bitty problem they didn't notice.
The motor that came off was a long shaft.
The motor that went on was a short shaft.
Yep, you guessed it. The prop didn't reach
all the way into the water. Oops. Think I'm
kidding? See the photo at the bottom if the
column to the right.

Apr. 7, 2013 question of the Day: Can a
Person Petition The Court To Appoint A
Guardian For Them Because They Are
No Longer Competent To Make
Decisions For Themselves?
I'd ponder
that question if I could keep it in my mind
long enough.

Mar. 9, 2013 - Adventures of Capt.
Lowsa - The Case of The Downed Mast

My friend Capt. Lowsa had been out sailing
with friends for the afternoon. He returned to
the club just ahead of the keel boat fleet
from their races. He loaded his boat on the
trailer and hauled it up the hill. As he
approached the boat's dry storage spot, he
found someone had parked their car where
his boat is supposed to be stored. He pulled
over to the side of the road so as not to
block traffic. He then attempted to locate the
inconsiderate low life owner of the car. Not
finding the owner, dismay turned to
frustration. Frustration turned to anger.
Anger turned to livid anger. He decided to
pull the trailer into an open area to secure it
for the night.
Oops! He forgot to check for
low hanging limbs. Yep, you guessed it. He
pulled forward into the trees and down came
the mast.
Lowsa strikes again!

Feb. 4, 2013 Not Funny My employer has
decided to drop the email service we
currently use in favor of using Google's
gmail. As a part of this, the entire staff is
required to sit through an hour and half long
webinar on setting up and using gmail. I
don't believe I've ever seen so many adults
in one place ingoring the topic in favor of
cruising the Internet on their cell phones.
It
went on so long, I thought my battery
would die.

Feb. 3, 2013 "In The Used Book
Business, Profit Margins are Paper Thin"
I've been de-cluttering my home office. I've
had some success in selling books through
Amazon. Just a couple of days ago, I was
able to sell a Computer Program design
book for nearly $25. Just a couple of years
ago, it cost me $69 at the college bookstore.
Some of the books, I've got are great. I
check them out on Amazon, and I find 125 of
them listed for $0.01.
Oh, well... Into the
Goodwill box it goes.

Jan. 13, 2013 He Said, "I Take My Sailing
Seriously."
Last month in a club race, I got
a little confused about a sailing right of way
rule. I caused another racer to change "his
proper course." At the time he laughed it off
and explained my error and we went on our
way. Today, I chanced to speak with him
about something else and he brought up the
incident last month. Well, I understand some
people take racing seriously and all. But
really, it's just a club race. Club racing is all
about fun, learning, and socialization.
Regional circuit races, nationals, and
America's Cup are about "taking sailing
seriously."

Dec. 29, 2012 More Than Just A Phone  I
felt compelled to get an iPhone for the
PayPal app. Increasingly, sailing students
have expected me to be able to accept
credit cards at the lake for lesson payment. I
finally gave in. Now, I see I had been living in
the prior century without it. It's not just a
phone, it's a handheld computer. A few of
my more useful apps are iHandy Flashlight,
Google, Google maps (The guy who
oversaw Apple maps got fired, so what does
that tell you about Apple's map app?), Near
Me, Where's my Car? (my favorite at the
mall, Six Flags, Downtown), iTunesU, Nook,
Kindle, IBooks, etc., CNN, KENS5, NEWS 4
WOAI, plus my banking apps. I'm impressed.
I might even get my wife and daughter
iPhones... maybe.

Dec 28, 2012 “Home-style” Just Exactly
What Does that Mean?
I’ve noticed the
marketing phrase “Home Style” is used a bit
more than it used to be, or I’m noticing it
more often than I used to. Home Style
cooking has been around as a restaurant
advertisement as long as I can remember.  I
was delighted when McDonalds came out
with the Texas Home Style Burger. I won’t
say it actually does taste home style, but it is
a really good approximation of how I
remember Ernie’s Burgers of Fort Worth
when I was growing up. I came across a new
use of the phrase “Home Style.”
Dog food.
Huh? Alpo has
Homestyle With Beef In
Gravy, Prime Slices Gravy Cravers.

Dec. 26, 2012 If At first You Don't
Succeed, WiFi Again
We have a hard
wired router in the house and 4 network
cables running along the hall ceiling to
various rooms of the house. When we first
moved in, we found it was impossbile to get
a consistent wireless signal throughout the
house. Christmas Eve, I went to Altex
Electronics to buy a Wireless Access Point
for the house. My daughter has several
wireless Apple devices and she has wanted
wireless in the house for a while now. I
bought a WiFi Access Point gizmo to hook
into our existing network. It was a breeze to
set up, but had one draw back. The
particular gizmo I had bought is incompatible
with Apple products. Oops, back to the store
I took it today. Altex did not have another
device they were sure would be compatible
with Apple, so I got a refund and we left. We
went to the Apple store. I bought an Airport
Express. It works great, set up easy, and
sends a strong signal throughout the house.
I spent a good portion of the evening in the
easy chair watching Star Trek: Voyager on
my iPhone via the wireless network just
because I could.
I love technology when it
works, especially flush potties and air
conditioning.

Dec. 23, 2012 Big Rhode Island
Cinnamon Rolls?
The vending machine at
my work is regularly stocked with "Big Texas
Cinnamon Rolls". They are pretty good. Are
other states celebrated the way Texas is?
Mammoth Massachusetts Twinkies?

Dec. 22, 2012 I Went To A Good Funeral
Today
There seem to be periods of my life
in which there are runs of funerals to attend.
When I was young, I went to the funerals of
my grandparents and relatives of their
generation. In my mid 30s to 40s, I went to
funerals of my parents, aunts, and uncles.
Now, I've begun to attend funerals of my
friends and relatives of friends.
So what
made today's funeral a good one? I was
viewing the casket from the exterior.

Dec. 21, 2012 The Apocalypse Appears
to Have Been Delayed
Dec. 21st has
come and gone.
Darn, that means I'll have
to pay my wireless and credit card bills.

Dec. 20, 2012 The Memo Said, "School
business days need to go through J. C..  
She needs to verify approval from Dr. W.."
Does that mean I can schedule my own
Monkey Business?

Dec. 19, 2012 The Bureaucracy Must Be
Fed.
A few months ago, I was speaking with
the compounding pharmasist. He said he
could mix a medication I take for less cost
than what the drug company charges. He
gave me the script written on  a prescription
form to take to my doctor. I took it to my
doctor today. The doctor completed the
prescription on the form given to me by the
head pharmasist. I took the prescription
back to the pharmacy. I was told they
couldn't fill the prescription because it was
not written on a correct form. I needed to
return to the doctor's office to have the
script written on the doctor's "official"
prescription pad.
Why would the pharmacy
have prescription pads if they won't
accept prescriptions written on the their
pads?

Dec. 18, 2012 I Used the "R" Word
Today.
As I was attempting to instruct my
high school students in the finer art of the
Pythagorean Theorem, I was distracted by
some conversation across the room. The
following conversation took place.
Me: J.K., Please turn around and move over
to this row.
J.K. Why me? I wasn't doing anything.
Me: When I hear talking, I look to see what is
going on. I always move the students who
are facing the wrong way. Please move over
to this row.
J.K. That's retarded!
Me: OK, please move over to this retarded
row.
I'll probably get an email from the
Academic Dean saying, "See me, please."

Dec. 17, 2012 Where Is My Car? My wife
called me in a panic Sunday. She couldn't
find her car at HEB. She was sure it had
been stolen. OK... I told her I'd be there to
get her. And I'm thinking I'll find it in the
parking lot. This is not the first time she's
called me saying her car was stolen. A few
minutes later, she called me back saying the
security guard had found where she parked
it.

I got to thinking there must be an app for the
iPhone for finding one's car. Yes, there are
a whole bunch of them called, "Where's my
car?"  One that really stuck out was called,
"Where's my Damned Car?" I can hear the
frustration in the programmer's voice.
I'll bet
he originally wrote the app to solve his
own parking issues.

Dec. 17, 2012 He Must Have Thought It
Was a Spanish True (Si)/ False (No) Test
I've spent the weekend grading Math tests.
A student, CLG, did much better on this test
than he did on the last test. The last test
was almost entirely multiple choice - A, B, C,
D. CLG chose "C" for every answer.
Unfortunately for him, there
was not an
equal answer distribution. He only got
one right.

Dec. 16, 2012
Goodbye To An Old Friend?
I have an
outstanding sense of direction. If I take my
daughter somewhere, it will be months or a
year before I forget how to get there, even if
we make a lot of winding turns. When I  was
younger, I could literally feel which way was
north. I have no idea how I could do that, but
north was obvious to me. It amused me that
no one else could do that.

My old friend to which I refer is my set of
Ferguson (now Mapsco) Map Grid books for
Dallas, Ft. Worth, Austin, and San Antonio.
Occassionally, I'd need to go somewhere I
had not been before, so I needed the set of
books.  At first, I'd have to replace a book
every couple of years to keep up with new
streets. My last "new" book was purchased
about 10 years ago. Why the change in
replacement frequency? - Google maps on-
line. If I had access to a computer, I had
directions.

Now, I have a "smart phone." I have 3 map
apps on my phone plus a nifty one called
"Near Me" that identifies gas stations,
restaurants, banks, hotels, grocery stores,
etc. nearby. It is possible, I'll never look in
those books again for directions to an
address.

Goodbye, old friends, for you go the way
of the rotary dial phone.

Dec. 15, 2012 It Runs Fine When I Don't
Need To Go Anywhere
Last week, my
sailing partner and I entered the monthy
series for keel boats. We had to be towed
out of the marina and then be towed back
into the marina because my ob motor
wouldn't stay running.  Today, I decided to
fix it. First, I disconnected the fuel line from
the motor, i did some tests. Yep, the line had
fuel in it. Yep, the motor had fuel in it. I
reconnected the fuel line. I pumped the buld
and tried starting the motor. No problems, it
started right up. It ran beautifully for 15
minutes until I stopped it. So, what was the
difference? Last week I needed to go
somewhere, so it wouldn't run. This week, all
I wanted to do was run it and go nowhere, so
it ran fine.. Next time I need to go out of the
slip, I'm going to tell the ob I'm just warming it
up. While its occuppied, I'll slip the dock
lines and head out.
I hope it doesn't quit
just to spite me.

Dec. 15, 2012 It's Just Not The Same - I
Want Real Books.
My sister-in-law, Liese
Sherwood-Fabre, is a rising writer. She has
published several books. Most are in ebook
form. I've read two of the them. I think she
writes quite well. I have trouble putting her
books down. I have them stored on my
iPhone. There is no equal from hard-copy
for convenience, but an iPhone version just
doesn't have the longevity of a printed copy.
I look forward to when all her books make it
to print. A printed book can be passed on to
children and grandchildren.
I highly recommend Liese's books in any
form,
Saving Hope - a suspense mystery
set in the new Russia and
Reindeer Wars -
a drama / comedy describing an office
conflict revolving around a tacky Christmas
sweater contest. These books are available
through Barnes and Noble, Muse Publishing,
and Amazon.

Dec. 03, 2012 The Darn Thing is
Addictive
I understand there are a little
over 275,000 apps for the iPhone. I have a
few, maybe 10, in addition to what it came
with. My current favorite is Sailblaster. It is a
simulated sailboat racing game. It is
addictive. Today, I nearly ran the battery out
on my iPhone playing the game at lunch. I
used to wonder how my daughter could
possibly have her phone battery die after
only one day's use, while my non-iPhone
battery could go for several days without a
charge. Now I know.

Dec. 03, 2012 Beta Version Has Side
Effects
The parent company of my website
hosting provider has recently developed
secondary verification fagainst email
hijacking. Being a conscienous user, I
enabled the secondary security function. As
soon as I did, I lost the ability to publish my
website. Oops... there appear to be
unexpected issues with the new beta
version. I guess they will find a way to fix that.

Dec. 02, 2012 I've Been Dragged Kicking
and Screaming Into The 21st Century
 
The combination of an exponential amount
of text messages coming to me along with
the expectation of my sailing students that I
take credit card payments at the lake, have
forced me to get an iPhone. In addition to
the PayPal for which I originally got the
phone, I now have a variety of apps for
sailing instruction, weather reporting and
weather measurement. I have noticed,
however, the battery runs down really
quickly.

Dec. 01, 2012 It Must Be a Uniform
Requirement for the Neighborhood.
I
took my daughter to her cousins' house in
Austin Friday night. They live in a very, very,
trendy neighborhood. Michael Dell lives in
their neighborhood. Every single male I saw
at the local convenience store seemed to be
wearing the same outfit, khaki shorts and
collared knit polo shirt. By the way, the
men's room had granit counter tops.

Dec 2011 through Nov 2012 Random Humor
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Jan  through Nov. 2011 Random Humor
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Jan. 2011 Random Humor page link

Oct through Dec. 2010 Random Humor
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Sept 2010 Random Humor page link

August 2010 Random Humor page link

July 2010 Random Humor page link

June 2010 Random Humor page link

May 2010 Random Humor page link

April 2010 Random Humor page link

March 2010 Random Humor page link

February 2010 Random Humor page link

Copyright 2010-2011 Randle B. Moore
All rights reserved
Look at sign in the foreground.
Counter
Source: imgur.com
Source: imgur.com
Reality of teaching explained below:.
Favorite Quotations:

"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the
world are the ones who do."
- Apple's "Think Different" commercial ,
1997

"The price you pay for a boat is only the downpayment."
Dingy Davits, Dec. 02, 2012

"A boat or children first? Easy choice - Get a boat first! It is more
fun, cost less, and provide a family focus once the kids arrive."
Dingy Davits, Nov. 19, 2012.

"There are only 10 kinds of people in the world, those that
understand binary and those that don't."
Anonymous

"A red state that loves Willie Nelson is a state that has
reconsiled its conflicts."
-Garrison Keillor, A Prairie Home
Companion
, Nov. 17, 2012.

"
All great educational reforms can be overcome by teacher
inertia.
" by Randle B. Moore, Professional Educator since 1978.

"
I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you." Favorite bumper sticker.
Prone to start a fight if placed on the back of a sailboat when racing or
loading at the ramp. dingy Davits, 2012

"I used to think I was psychic, then I realized I was just
psychotic."
- Dingy Davits, 2012.

"I had plans to major in Mathematics, but Inequalities dashed
my hopes."
- Dingy Davits, 2012.
"Redneck Pride" - From Youtube.com
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The books advertised to
the right are written by my
sister-in-law. While not
totally objective, I can say
both books are good.
Saving Hope is an action
packed suspense thriller
set in the new Russia. It will
keep  you on the edge fo
your seat.
Oops. Not long enough to reach the water. Oh, Snap.
Some pictures from our East Coast trip in May of 2013
Piano Lessons
Austin is known for the state capitol and UT.
San Antonio is known for the River Walk.
And what icon does Windcrest claim as its own? (see below)