Random Humor
This random humor page is dedicated to those
things that I find humorous.
By Dingy Davits, humorist  
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South Texas Sailing
Feb. 14, 2010   All Points Bulletin: Be on the
lookout for this tree.
 Considered branched and
dangerous. Clearly the root of all evil. Do not try to
apprehend. May attack if provoked with chainsaw
May 25, 2010 Definition of An Idiot A high
school student who turns in a assignment
late (for a 50) which he had earlier turned in
on time (for a 100). This could be attributed
to misreading a progress report, however,
the problem is the second copy is an exact
duplicate of another student's paper.  The
two papers have identical font, type size,
style, and misspelled words. Now the
assignment has a zero and has generated a
referral to the administration.
High school
students never cease to amaze me.


May 24, 2010 You Were in Europe for 3
Weeks and You Want Me To Do What?
 I
have a senior student that took a tour of
Europe and the Middle East last month. He
was out of school for about 3 weeks. The
state of Texas says students must be in
class for a minimum of 90% of the
instructional days in order to receive credit.
This is a hard and fast rule, although the
state says students may make up time to be
in compliance.  I received an email from him
Sunday asking if he could make up time for
another class by coming in extra early to
my room
before school.  Kids have got the
strangest sense of logic.

May 23, 2010 Adults Fear To Go, Kids
willingly Dare
 Today was the second day
of the 2010 Youth Sail Camp of LCYC. The
winds were howling at well above 20 mph.
The waves outside the breakwater were
several feet high, valley to crest. The
younger kids sailed Optis within the
breakwater and the older kids on Sunfish
were in the lagoon between the LCYC ramp
and the Randolph Marina. A few brave souls
ventured out of the breakwater to the lake
with two chase boats nearby.
I know several
adults who said the wind was too high and
the water too choppy for their comfort. I am
one of them.

May 22, 2010 Definition of Gybe
Revisited.
Getting hit in the head by a
swinging boom is never funny, especially if it
hits you. I found the clip of an accidental
gybe on youtube so I've put it at the bottom
of the right column so you'll understand what
happens.  (
See March 4, 2010)

May 21, 2010 The Insects Are Huge at
Canyon Lake. It Must Be All the Rain
We've Had.  
See the giant ant flying over
the lake in the photo to the right and down.
It is best to keep your children close.

May 20, 2010 Just Exactly Where Do You
Think I Can Go?
This morning, after
dropping my daughter off at school, I was
waiting for traffic to clear at the corner so I
could turn left. My turn signal was on and
although it was a tight squeeze, a car could
pass me on my right. Some driver comes up
behind me and honks. What was he
thinking? Was he thinking I'm going to
abandon my attempt to go to work and go
down the street to accommodate him?
I've
got to wonder about some people
sometimes.

May 19, 2010 You Must Be Mistaken  
Every once and a while the bug hits me that
I need a new sail boat; well, new to me,
anyway.  I've been keeping my eye open for
a light weight open cockpit day sailer, such
as a Flying Scot or a Sweet 16.  I haven't
seen much in the ads, so I thought I'd do
this. I went to the lake the other day to look
for boats that appear not to have been used
in a while. I recorded the TX numbers and
looked up the owners of record on line.
Then I contacted the owners I could find to
see if they'd be interested in selling their
boats.  A few said they intended to sail it one
day. A couple of others said their late
husbands had sailed the boats and they
couldn't bear to sell the boat.  One woman
told me I had to be mistaken about the
boat's infrequent use. She said her husband
went to Canyon Lake every second
weekend of each month come rain or shine
to race his boat. The one she was referring
to was on a trailer with flat tires and 5 year
old expired plates.  
I wonder where he really
goes on those weekends!

May 18, 2010 Persistence Doesn't
Always Pay Off
My computer science
students are working on final projects. Most
of the students know what they are doing
and the others have paired up with those
that know what they are doing. One of my
students was dead set on doing a power
point presentation for another class during
computer science. I redirected his behavior
3 times. His rationale was that since he
doesn't know the code and his partner is
doing all the work on the project (of which he
expects to get a share of the grade) he
should be allowed to do what he wants to
do.  
The adolescent mind works in
mysterious ways
.

May 17, 2010  Difference Between
Adults and Teenagers
I collected a phone
today from a student who was texting  in the
classroom. His reaction, when I asked for it
was, "Oh, no. Not today; I need it." In the
same situation, an adult would ensure he
was not in a position to have the phone
taken up. A teenage, however, argues he
should not have his phone taken up
because he needs it.

May 16, 2010 We've Been Here Before  
We went to the Lake LBJ Memorial Party for
David Luckenbach today at McNair Park in
Sunrise Beach. As we entered the park, my
daughter said it looked like a nice park and
a little familiar. I told her we'd been there
before. She looked surprised and a little
confused for she was sure we'd never driven
there before. "We've been here before, but
we arrived by boat to use the rest rooms."

May 12, 2010 Favorite Texas Town
Names
I have soft spot in my heart (no, not
head) for some of the Texas towns and
communities. Here are some of my favorites.
La Grange (known for the chicken ranch,
said to have had some pretty cute chicks)
My granddad was mayor of La Grange at
the turn of the century.
Iraan (west Texas, pronounced Ira - Ann)
Tin Top (on the Brazos River, known for the
tin roofs)
Camelot & Utopia
North Zulch
(Are there other Zulches in the
area?)

May 11, 2010 Same Old AT & T Our land
line stopped working after a thunderstorm. I
reported the problem to AT&T. The voice
message told me what day to expect the
repair technician and the expected time of
arrival; 8 am to 8 pm.
I wonder how it would
go over if I told the superintendent of
schools, Expect me to show up for work
sometime between 8 am and 8 pm.

May 10, 2010 Getting A - Head I try to
avoid making humor at the expense of my
students, but I just couldn't resist it today.
"C" has mannerism that can be quite
irritating. He was nagging a very good
student, today, in class by saying over and
over, "I'm ahead of you. I'm ahead of you.
I'm ahead of you." He said this so many
times, I told him, "C, the only way you'll be
ahead of "D" is if you are a boat."  
In hind
sight, I hope he doesn't learn the parts of a
boat anytime soon.

May 9, 2010 When Sailing a Boat With a
Wheel, Turn the Wheel Just Like a Car.
 
Steering a sailboat with a wheel is supposed
to be just like driving a car. On Saturday, I
went sailing with a friend on his O'Day 27.
He asked me to steer while he went forward.
I found that after sailing tiller only boats for
the better part of two years, I couldn't get
used to the wheel. I'm so used to steering by
tiller, I kept turning the wrong way.

May 8, 2010 Dear Burglar, Please
Remain On The Property Until The
Police Have Arrived So I Don’t Get
Charged For a False Alarm By The City.
 I
received a bill from the city saying I owed a
service charge of $50 because the police
had responded to the 4th false alarm in 12
months at the property. I went to the city
office. First, I had to complete a Request for
Public Information form before they would
tell me the 3 previous false alarm dates. The
clerk said the city had ten days to respond
to my request, and if my request prompted a
State Attorney General’s opinion it could
take up to 45 days.
What?????  They want
me to pay them $50 for a service charge
and I have to complete a form and wait 10
days to get relevant information.
Geeze!  So
I told clerk that I’d just stand in the lobby for
awhile in case they got to it earlier than 10
days. In about 15 minutes, the alarm
administrator called me to the window and
told me I owed the city 10 cents for the
information.
The bureaucracy must be fed.
After looking over the dates, I paid the
service charge. I then asked how to file an
appeal to get my dime back.

May 7, 2010 Only the Girls Understand
I've found the perfect means teach parent
function transformations. Unfortunately only
the girls understand. Let me explain.  The
parent function is the Twilight version and
the transformation is the Breaking Dawn
version. The graph is Bella. If you have no
idea what I have been talking about, just ask
a teenage girl, she'll explain it to you.

May 6, 2010 This Boat Shall Have the
Name of "Hind Sight"
Blue sapphire looks
great, but maybe black lettering should have
been white. Next time, I should tape down
the lettering strip to ensure the name is
straight, too.

May 5, 2010 Texas Politics Vote the
rascals out of office. Elect some new rascals.

May 4, 2010 A Personal Observation Man
who leaves left over paint in trunk of car at
night has stinky car in morning.

May 3, 2010 Look Before You Rig the
Sunfish
One of our sailing clubs has 3
Sunfish on the youth dock that are available
to all club members for use. We are in the
process of doing much needed
maintenance. One of the Sunfish has no
drain plug. The bailer broke off last fall.
Twice now, within the last few weeks, people
have rigged the boat and set it into the
water only to discover it was taking on water.
I went up to the lake this afternoon, sanded
the boat, and put a pre-coat of paint on the
hull. My plan is return Tuesday and
Wednesday afternoon after work to finish
up. Hopefully, the boat will have a drain plug
and bailer by the weekend.

May 2, 2010 Experience is the Best
Teacher
 Last summer, I had the great idea
to buy a sailboat that needed some TLC, fix
her up, and sell her at great profit. That was
the first week of June. My daughter and I
worked some on it last summer until it got
too hot. We picked up the work again in
early March. The paint / gel coat was in
terrible condition, so we have been stripping
and scraping.  Every time I think we are just
about ready to sand and paint, we find
another spot that is peeling.  We've now
learned this is our first and last project boat.
It's ironic that to learn that, we had to
experience it.

May 1, 2010 I Belong to No Organized
Dance Group, I Am a Member of @#$%^.
 
My daughter and I belong to a well known
cultural dance group in San Antonio. Our
group performs at each Asian Festival, each
Folk Life Festival, and at many civic
functions. It doesn't seem to matter how
much time is set aside for travel to a
performance site, someone in the group
always seems to get there late. For our first
performance today, the lady who had most
of our equipment was 20 minutes late
because she was tied up with friends at her
house. Our last performance started 15
minutes late because our drummer turned
the wrong way.  
Result: Dingy's equation for
time verses people involved. The time
required to get some where increases
exponentially by the number of people
involved. t= 2 raised to the n, where t is time
and n is the number of people required to
get there.

April 2010 Random Humor page link

March 2010 Random Humor page link

February 2010 Random Humor page link

Copyright 2010 Randle B. Moore
All rights reserved
Video clip of someone being hit in the head by a boom when
the boat accidentally gybes