Random Humor
This random humor page is dedicated to those
things that I find humorous.
By Dingy Davits, humorist  
image linking to 100 Top Boating Sites
South Texas Sailing
Feb. 4, 2011 Mr. Davits, You Said You
Didn't Think It Would Snow  
When asked,
I said I thought the probability of snow was
between 0 and 1, about 0.7. Some students
thought that meant a very low probability,
not realizing that the maximum for probability
is 1 (100%).

Jan. 29, 2011 You Know What Vultures
Call Road Kill?
Meals on Wheels

Jan. 24, 2011 There Are Only 10 Kinds Of
People In The World, Those That
Understand
Binary and Those That Don't.

Jan 23, 2011 One Of My Favorite Jokes -
The French mathematician and philosopher,
Rene Descartes, went into a neighborhood
bar. The bar tender said, "May I pour you a
drink, sir?" Rene Descartes said, "No," and
promptly disappeared.
Click here if you
don't understand the joke.

Jan. 22, 2011 Oops On Me... The
expression goes, "Those that can, do; those
that can't, teach." There is a corollary to
that, "Sometimes those that can do, can't
teach." That happened to me Saturday. I
was out with a group of students on
Saturday. All was going well. I was in my
usual position having the students sail the
boat. The wind became stronger, about 15
to 20 mph in the afternoon. The students
began having difficulty controlling the boat.
From my vantage point amidships, I made
suggestions of what to do. That didn't help
much.  It was not until I took the tiller in one
hand and the main sheet in the other, that
good control was restored and progress
made. Saturday I was unable to convey what
I needed to teach.
I was able to do but I
couldn't teach.

Jan 21, 2011 It's A Crappie World
(magazine)
I came across a magazine
named Crappie World, a fishing magazine. I
checked out reviews of the magazine on
Amazon.com.   Of 7 reviews, 5 are, well...
crappie.
I wonder if the magazine name
has become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Jan. 20th, 2011 Phone Attitudes - Child
and Parent
. I've noticed a difference in
attitude between my daughter (age 14) and
me when it comes to the phone ringing
during dinner. When my daughter's cell
phone rings, her first reaction is that she
has to see who's calling her. My reaction is
to let it ring. If the caller really wants me, he'll
leave a message.

Jan. 19, 2011 Shhh! Don't Tell Anyone It
Was An Official Texas State Holiday.
 
Yes, that is right. Today, Jan. 19th, was an
official state of Texas holiday. What holiday,
you ask? It is Confederate Heroes Day. Do
you think that the Civil War was so long
ago? Consider this. My paternal grandfather
was 9 years old when the Civil War started.
The last known Confederate widow, Maudie
Cecilia Hopkins, died August 17, 2008.

Jan. 18, 2011 Good Bye To An Old
Friend
Last month, the west side of the
TCU stadium in Ft. Worth was demolished.
(See video link to the right.) When I was a
student at TCU in the early 1970s, my
friends and I would sneak in and go up to
the upper deck.
We'd write the names of
girls we liked in the stands by raising and
lowering chair seats.

Jan. 17, 2011 It Seemed Like A Good
Idea At The Time.  
See the video at the
right bottom of page.  
I am so glad it wasn't
me.

Jan. 13, 2011 Dental Work Is The Spice
Of Life
I had some dental work done today.
It didn't take long. The only thing the dentist
did was to insert some packing soaked in
clove oil into the socket where I had a tooth
extracted last week. Now, I have the
persistent taste of cloves in my mouth when I
drink coffee, eat supper, brush my teeth,
drink water, ...
I used to like the taste of
cloves, but a little goes along way.

Jan. 12, 2011 I Think You Have Over
Estimated The Time Available And
Under Estimated Job To Be Done.
I
received an email from my Co-Department
Chair yesterday, reminding the department
that we are required to remain on campus
until 4:00 PM even though the students are
released at noon. Let's see; today I had to
set up the morning exam, actively monitor
the students while taking the exam, grade
the exam, enter the grades, call parents of
students with too many absences or failing
average, prepare the two exams for
tomorrow, attend a department luncheon,
and assist a student in the afternoon with an
extra credit program. I left the school at 5:10
PM. I took care of the immediate business
and no long range business.
Ms. X, I don't
think leaving early will be an issue this
week.

Jan. 10, 2011 Chinese Proverb -   "Man
who fights with wife all day gets no
piece at night." - Unknown author

Jan. 7, 2011  Wet Suits Are For Warm
Weather, Right?
My daughter will crewing
on a catamaran in long distance race at the
end of January. We need to get her a wet
suit as the water temperature will be close to
50 degrees. We stopped in at the Academy
at Perrin Beitel at Loop 410. They do not
carry them at this time of the year. They will
stock the wet suits in late March or early
April.  Hmmm... Let me see if I understand
this correctly, When the water is cold, they
don't stock them. When the water is warm,
they do stock them.  
Am I missing
something here?

Jan. 6, 2011 Curse The Tax Man!
MOGOSOIA, Romania – "
Everyone curses
the tax man, but Romanian witches angry
about having to pay up for the first time are
planning to use cat excrement and dead
dogs to cast spells on the president and
government.  Also among Romania's newest
taxpayers are fortune tellers —
but they
probably should have seen it coming."
By ALISON MUTLER, Associated Press
Alison Mutler, Associated Press., Jan. 5,
2011.

Jan. 5, 2011  I Wasted 15 Pages Of Paper
In Order To Conserve Paper Use.  
The
school district has notified us we need to
conserve paper use on the copy machines
as much as possible. They want us to print
two originals to a side, four originals to a
side if possible. Next, of course, we should
also print double sided.  So, yesterday, I was
preparing the chapter exercises for my AP
Computer Science class.  In order to go from
8 single page originals to a mixture of 2
originals a side for some and full size for
others (so I can read what the students’
have written), all double sided, it took me
about 20 minutes and 15 intermediary
pages to get 13 copies done for the
students.  

Jan. 4, 2011  I'm Only 8400% Over
Budget And You Never Told Me I Had A
Limit. Besides, Memory's Cheap Isn't It?
I received an email from a District System
Administrator. She said I was over my 5 gb
memory allotment on the network drive. If I'm
reading the data correctly, I have 420 gb of
data stored.
This clearly contradicts the
notion that the older you get, the less
memory you have.

Jan. 3, 2011 All It Takes Is A Rose Bowl
Win To See Purple Everywhere.
 I saw a
lot of purple at school today. Of course,
there was the student in my Pre-Calculus
class who has been wearing his TCU T-shirt
since the beginning of school. But, I saw a
lot more TCU shirts today.
I wonder how
many them were purchased within the
last few days? Just for the record; I
purchased mine two weeks ago.

Jan. 2, 2011 My Number One Resolution
for 2011 - I Shall Not Make Jest Of
Those Who Do Not Know.
Youtube is full
of videos of people who back their cars into
the lake from the ramp, or fall into the water
while jumping from the boat to the dock, or
crash their boat into the dock because they
headed down wind instead of headed into
the wind. What I find funny is that much of
my knowledge has been gained by trial and
error. Isn't it interesting how quickly we
forget what we didn't know ourselves just a
short time ago.
(Just for the record - I've
never backed a vehicle into the water. I'm
paranoid and obsessively overcautious
about that sort of thing.)

Oct through Dec. 2010 Random Humor
page link

Sept 2010 Random Humor page link

August 2010 Random Humor page link

July 2010 Random Humor page link

June 2010 Random Humor page link

May 2010 Random Humor page link

April 2010 Random Humor page link

March 2010 Random Humor page link

February 2010 Random Humor page link

Copyright 2010-2011 Randle B. Moore
All rights reserved
Look at sign in the foreground.
Home      Sailing Lessons         Cold Water Immersion / Hypothermia          About Us          Contact Us
Canyon Lake Area                             Buying a Used Boat                     Random Humor
phone: 210-286-4392   Email link       Selling a Boat                  Other Boating Sites
randle @ southtexassailing com     DVDs - Sailing Movies                 DVDs - Sailing Instruction
                                 New Boat Directory
Counter